Former Orillia Secondary School student Zoey Raffay recently overcame her battle with an eating disorder, and to mark the accomplishment, she has written a goodbye letter to her struggles.
The 20-year-old was diagnosed with an eating disorder back in 2019 but suffered with the disorder for five years prior to that. Raffay’s disorder was brought on by bullying and weight shaming from some of her classmates in elementary school.
“I decided to go ahead and write about it and share it with the world. Eating disorders aren’t talked about a lot, so I wanted to shine a light on the subject,” Raffay explained.
“I wanted to let people know that this is something real that people struggle with, and they can be recovered from it.”
Raffay remembers eating a bag of goldfish crackers as her only meal during school days, just to throw it up later or exercise excessively.
“I wasn’t able to comprehend anything. My concentration level was very low, and I had a hard time remembering stuff,” Raffay said.
“It came to a point where I weighed 110 pounds, and I was almost hospitalized.”
Raffay was able to overcome her eating disorder by using different strategies and coping mechanisms.
Once Raffay successfully overcame her battle, she wanted to share her experience to give other young people who are suffering from mental illness some hope.
Raffay encourages local youth to stay true to themselves, and not to listen to any negative comments from their peers.
“Don’t listen to what anybody says about you. Everybody is their own person - different and unique,” she said.
“If you are going through this, take it one day at a time, work your way through it, because it does get better.”
During Raffay’s journey, she was supported by her best friend Charlie, and her teacher Ms. Bolger. Raffay encourages youth battling mental illness to reach out for help, and find a support system.
“Talk to a teacher, talk to a bus driver, talk to anybody you can trust. Mental illness is something you can recover from, but it does take some help and support,” she said.
Currently, Raffay is unemployed, but she is hoping to start a career as a writer. She has already published a book, Brainstorm Revolution, and she is hoping to write another book detailing her mental health journey which she plans to have published by 2025.
“Flashing back on bad memories to write another book is going to bring back some depression, but it’s going to help me tremendously with accepting what I went through,” she said.
Raffay’s goodbye letter to her eating disorder (Ed) can be read below:
Dear Ed
This is going to be hard to say but I think it's time we part ways. You have been by my side ever since grade school when my nickname was baby hippo and I am now 3 years out of high school.
You have been to hell and back with me, but I can't have you be a part of me anymore. You have been nothing but negative, a liar and a terrible "friend". Everything you have told me throughout the past 9 years has been complete lies: "You're too fat. You can't eat that", Don't even think about laying down go out and exercise you need to lose weight. You'll get fat if you have that piece of cheesecake".
I know this isn't true, well now I do.
It took me forever to realize what my eating disorder was telling me were lies. I KNOW I won't get fat after eating one piece of cheesecake, I don't need to exercise every moment of every day and I definitely can eat whatever I want because it is NORMAL to eat. If you don't put gas in the tank your car won't go the same with our bodies, if you don't fuel your body you won't have the energy to do things, and it took me forever to believe that.
Ed, you are a mean person and you don't deserve to be a part of me anymore, I need to go and be free like a bird and not under your spell anymore. Ever since I got help it's been easier for me to push you away, I had to separate myself from you because you were too negative for me. I learned I can live a life without having you around. Nothing about me is going to change without you. Nobody needs you around, I'm glad to say goodbye to you I will not miss you and don't ever come back into my life again.
Dear Ed,
You have taught me how to be a stronger person. you have taught me that I can beat anything and you have brought two wonderful counsellors into my life. I now have a different outlook on life and I will forever be grateful for that.
Dear Ed,
You will not be missed.
