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Ukrainian family rebuilding life in region after fleeing war (6 photos)

Anna and Alex Tyrtyshna, along with their young children, find salvation in Barrie; 'When we dropped (the) children at school, everyone was welcoming. Everyone here has said, ‘Welcome to Canada' and a smile. It’s like honey'

Anna and Alex Tyrtyshna don’t know if they will ever be able to return to their home in Odessa, Ukraine after their country was invaded by Russian troops on Feb. 24, 2022.

The couple, along with their two children, ages six and nine, arrived in Barrie on April 17 after they were forced to flee to Italy from their home near the Black Sea. After a few months in Italy, the family was able to get the proper documentation to come to Canada, where they hope to find work as soon as possible in order to slowly begin rebuilding the life they have lost due to war.

While the Russian invasion wasn’t a surprise, the couple admits they weren’t expecting it to take over their homeland so quickly. 

“We thought it could be, but we thought maybe it would be more local and not in (the) whole of Ukraine. We live in Odessa. It’s a beautiful city located near the Black Sea close to Moldova and Romania,” Anna says.  

It was Alex who heard the first bomb go off shortly after 4 a.m. By the time the second bomb hit, Anna was also wide awake  and the couple realized that war was officially at their doorstep.

“We heard (a) big bang. Then after a few minutes was a second (bang). We were shocked,” she says, adding they turned on the TV and learned Russia had, in fact, declared war on Ukraine.

They quickly decided to grab their children, pack what they could into a few bags and flee as quickly as possible.

After getting the kids and a few meagre belongings into the car, they attempted to withdraw cash from a nearby bank machine, but were only able to access the equivalent of $220 (Cdn.) out of their account.

They then began the 44-kilometre journey to the border crossing at Mayaky, Moldova  and, hopefully, to safety.

“We took not so (many) clothes. Now it’s funny because I took only my expensive clothes. Why I did this, I do not know. Maybe in my mind it was if something (happened) I could sell it,” Anna says while looking back. 

Staying together

Once they arrived at the border, the family found themselves joining a lineup of cars of their fellow Ukrainians, more than 30 kilometres long, trying to get out of the country as quickly as they could.

“Some people ask us now why (we) were so fast to go to the border. We were scared. At first, we thought maybe the war would be (only a few) days or weeks and we can return back, so we didn’t take so much,” says Anna.

They were able to cross the border as a family of four because the government had yet to enact martial law, which banned all men aged 18 to 60 from leaving the country in order to join the fight against Russia.

“We crossed the border (and) after one hour, no men could do this. … We understood that if my husband couldn’t cross the border, I wouldn’t go without him. We would stay together."

“We are not soldiers," Alex says. "We don’t have experience in any military and I (do) have not very good eyes. We (knew) if we were outside Ukraine, we would be more useful. Nobody can understand how it is. You have (two) minds: one is that you should go back to Ukraine and the other (is) you should do all you can do for the safety of your family and your children to earn money… so you can send some back to family and friends and the government (to help).”

Although Alex’s parents did not initially want to leave Ukraine for fear they wouldn’t be able to support themselves, the couple was eventually able to convince them to join them in Italy five days into the war. Anna’s mother, brother and his two children are also in Italy, however her father, who is 58, had to stay behind to fight. 

“He is safe, thank god, and we hope he will (stay) safe,” she says. “All our family lived in Odessa, and we were all so close to each other. Now we are all in different places."

Language barrier

Although they admit it would have been nice to stay close to family, the couple did not know the language, a huge barrier in their ability to find decent jobs, they say. 

“Our job is not like an engineer or electrician or mechanic who can work without language. Our job is sales. For a good job, we need to know (the) language fluently and we understood that in Italy we couldn’t do it,” Alex explains.  

During the two months the family spent in Italy, the couple received significant support from the government  as well as the Catholic Church  which helped them and their extended family find emergency shelter, food and anything else they would need. And although they will be eternally grateful for that support, they didn’t like feeling helpless.

“For 30 days we stayed and (did) nothing. We don’t know how we can help them. We are strong, young people and we can work, but we stand there on their shoulders and do nothing,” Anna says. “We thought maybe we could try to get Canadian visas because we know English. We can speak and work… and it would be better work than in Italy for us. We decided to try.”

In order to get to Canada, they had to sell the only thing of value they were able to escape with: their car.

“It was very hard for us because we sold it two times cheaper than it cost on the market," she says, "but we think and hope it was a very good step, because we bought the tickets and we are here.”

'Like a very bad movie'

In Ukraine, the family led a comfortable life, with a home approximately 500 metres from the sea, good jobs, and a great car.

Now, they don’t know if they will see any of it again  or even if that home is still standing.

“Maybe it will be destroyed. We don’t know. We had our parents close to us, we had pets, friends, we had a future… until (Feb. 24) when one person decided that we needed help,” says Anna. “We don’t need any help from (Russia). Now we are 7,000 kilometres away from our home and we have to start our lives from zero again. It’s like a very bad movie.

“In Ukraine, we don’t want this. We only want to live in our country," she adds. "We want to be like European (countries) and we want to be democratic country. We want to be with NATO. We want to be safe in our home without Russia. We don’t want to fight. If you know the news about Okhtyrka or  Mariupol, it’s a horrible situation.”

Since leaving Odessa, the building where Alex worked has been reduced to a pile of rubble, as well as a nearby apartment building of a friend, killing several people the couple knew.

“This rocket crashed into the building where my friend lived. He had a flat (there) and eight people died, including a three-month (old)," he says. 

Coming to Barrie

Both Alex and Anna have family and friends in Moscow, and told BarrieToday they’re struggling to understand how so many Russians are able to bury their heads in the sand and ignore the truth of the situation. 

“They live without any connection to the outside world and the social networks. All the television and journalistic systems work from their government,” he says.

“We told them now we don’t have a home, we don’t have anything. Russia attacked Ukraine and (they said) ‘we tried to save you’. The German people didn’t know what happened, too, and they thought Hitler was a leader,” she says. “It’s very hard when you can’t talk with your relatives. … They don’t believe us.”

Despite the battle trying to get some of their own family members to understand what’s happening, the couple acknowledge not all Russian citizens are in support of the war.

Unfortunately, many are simply too scared to speak up. 

“They are afraid of their government. If they don’t agree (with Putin), they go to prison," she says. 

O Canada

It’s been two weeks since the family arrived in Barrie, and while they admit they’re relieved to be safe, it’s definitely bittersweet.

“(Our) kids started school… and it’s very good for us because we have more time to find a job. We can go to an interview and go to meetings,” Alex says.

As difficult as life has been for them, they know it’s had an even greater impact on their children.

“They don’t know English. Our daughter can only say ‘Hi, my name is Kiera.' (On Monday) they woke up and were scared about what they should say or do. For them it’s harder. Sometimes they think it’s a big trip, a vacation. Every day they ask when they can go back home. We don’t know what to tell them,” Anna says.

The family chose Barrie because they had friends who’d moved here from Ukraine several years ago, and thanks to the generosity of strangers, have a safe place to call home while they begin to rebuild the life they’ve lost.

“They are so amazing. They help with everything,” Anna says of their “host,” Russ Jeffery, and his family.

After nearly 24 hours of travelling, exhausted and hungry, the family of four arrived at their new home in Barrie to find bread and some food for them for breakfast.

“Usually for all people, it’s normal. For us, it’s like magic. When you run away from war, you try to find a safe place for (your) children. You don’t know what you need to do right now, but you hope you find a job, start earning money and can buy what you need from your previous life. When you open the (door) and see food, it’s really good,” Alex says.

Dropping their children on their first day of school on Monday was another heartwarming experience. 

“When we dropped (the) children at school, everyone was welcoming. Everyone here has said, ‘Welcome to Canada' and a smile. It’s like honey,” says Anna, touching her heart. “It makes us understand that here we will be safe. We hope that the worst is behind us. We are alive, we have our health, our children are safe, and almost all of our family is safe.”

Lesson of a lifetime

Anna and Alex say they have learned a very important lesson from the war and that is to live each and every day to its fullest. 

“It doesn’t matter what car you drive. It doesn’t matter what clothes you have. You should live your today now,” says Anna. “My husband bought a very exclusive bottle of wine seven or eight years ago. We decided we would drink it on our 10-year anniversary of our marriage (March 28). The bottle of glass (is in) Ukraine.

"I told Alex we don’t need to live our life for tomorrow. We have today (so) enjoy every moment and every time with your friends and family. Today is not sunny, but you are still alive, you have a safe place and can eat, drink and your children can go to school.

"This is the most important thing in your life.”


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About the Author: Nikki Cole

Nikki Cole has been a community issues reporter for BarrieToday since February, 2021
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